T-juncion

eighteen, an important stage in life.
what i gotta do is to choose the pathway for the rest of my life.(mayb it's until i retire , which is for the next 30 years )..

i know what i will take next.
but deeep inside my heart , i always ask myself :
am i really happy with this choice? am i really really happy with it ? am i interested in it ? is this suitable for my characteristic ?
i can hear a weak voice saying : no.
so i will go on and ask myself again : but why am i still choosing it ?
apparently i remain silence, because i knw the answer well..as in , very very well..
no matter how much everyone of them hope me to go for this ambition , somehow.....i ask myself ....
sorrowful , isnt it ?

what my real ambition is to be a outstanding xxxxx .
but there goes the problem when i think further of my life.
there will definitely be a conflict between X and Y , which i know there will be a sacrifice of either one.to me , both of them are equally imporant !! i dont want to lose this aspect bcz of that aspect.
now , i am really standing in front of a T junction. sigh ~~

am i really going to ignore the weak voice ? or am i going to accept the way everyone in my family hope.. do i have any other choice ?
to be frank , i actually dont have a direction other than the original ambition.
sigh ~
DILEMMA!!

i am so not happy when i think abt this .

oh god !! help me..